This week, I lost a very dear friend to cancer, my golden retriever, Hunter. While he made it successfully thru his initial surgery, the cancer quickly spread to his liver and he only survived 12 more days. We enjoyed 11 wonderful years with Hunter but nevertheless, I cannot help but feel great sorrow and loss when I think about him.
In May 2006, Kim and I decided to get a puppy. It had been a couple years since our cocker spaniel, Dude, passed away and we were ready to give our love to a new pet. We visited a breeder who had 12 puppies available, a boy, followed by 10 girls and the runt, who was a boy. We were both drawn to the littlest one, who was wagging his tail like crazy, engaging, bright-eyed and full of life. We instantly fell in love with him and quickly made the decision to take Bailey home with us.
As we were filling out the adoption papers, the 10 females were playing in the yard, completely unaware that their little brother was being taken away from them, but the other male was whimpering, scratching at the sliding glass door, as if to say, “Please take me too, don’t leave me with these psycho bitches”. I looked at Kim and said, “It looks like were going home with 2 dogs today”. After a brief discussion, we had 2 new boys in the car, Hunter and Bailey.
These brothers were inseparable and we didn’t help ourselves by not splitting them more often. If I took one to the store or for a walk, it was chaos when I got home; dogs jumping all over the place as if they hadn’t seen each other for months. If one got an ear infection, the other would lick his ear as if to tell me to pay attention to it. If one had a tummy ache, the other would bark as if to tell us to let him out SOON!
Hunter grew into a beautiful, strong and majestic dog, but he was really a big softy. He has the gentlest disposition, and all he ever wanted to do was love people. While a little judicious with his kisses, he was affectionate, kind and sweet to everyone. Hunter had a ravenous appetite, and even after he ate 8 raw chicken breasts, he never threw up. During the holidays one year, he swallowed Kim’s diamond earrings only to pass them without incident. Yes, it was me with the strainer.
This past Saturday, we took Hunter to the vet and brought Bailey to be by his side. We could not operate again so we made the tough decision to say goodbye. As Hunter lay on the rug, Bailey licked his nose a couple times, but as soon as Hunter stopped breathing, a strange thing happened. Bailey no longer seemed interested in Hunter, as if his soul had left and the vessel that was his body was empty. A few minutes later, Bailey was sitting by the door and was ready to go home. Bailey had said his goodbye to his brother.
Regardless of your religious beliefs and your faith, I am choosing to believe that dogs have a soul, one that is filled with love, happiness and joy. I know it in my heart.
It has only been a few days, but I miss him terrible and have found myself crying in the middle of the day, just thinking about him, and how happy he made me. The purest kind of love. My friends who have dogs or cats have been compassionate and empathetic. They, too, have all suffered the loss of a pet. For others, they have yet to realize what it is like to experience this type of unconditional love.
Everywhere I go, there are constant reminders of this wonderful dog. It seems like every commercial on TV or billboard I drive past has a golden retriever. Not to mention all of the reminders around the house. And while I tear up when I see these things, I know it’s ok because I had this great, mutual love affair with Hunter and I never want to forget.
We still have Bailey at home but the energy in the house is off. Bailey now gets to sleep on our bed, he’s getting more attention than ever before, and more cookies than he should. Neither Kim nor I is ready for a puppy, and that would be a great disservice to Hunter’s memory. I don’t think Bailey is up for a high energy animal in the house either. But someday, when we’ve healed enough, I know we’ll be looking for another puppy (or 2) to love. And maybe, if we’re lucky, the puppy will have Hunter’s soul.
A good friend of mine sent me this poem when he heard what we were going thru. The author is unknown, but he captured my feelings as if he knew me and my relationship with Hunter. Goodbye, my friend. I will never forget how much you loved me.
A Dog’s Plea
Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for although I should lick your hand between blows, your patience and understanding will quickly teach me the things you would have me learn.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footsteps falls upon my waiting ear.
Please take me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domesticated animal, no longer accustomed to bitter elements. I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth. Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.
Feed me clean food that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.
And, my friend, when I am very old, and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having any fun. Please see that my trusting life is taken gently. I shall leave this earth knowing with the last breath I draw that my fate was always safest in your hands.
Author Unknown
OPEN KIMONO 