“What’s your name, again?”

Throughout your life and regardless of your occupation, you’ve undoubtedly met lots of people, whether through the work day or in social settings.  Politely, you introduce yourself while shaking hands and greeting strangers.  As you age, remembering names and specific details about a person you’ve just met becomes increasingly challenging.  In my youth, remembering facts, phone numbers and names was one of my strongest “talents”, but today, my brain simply doesn’t work the way it used to.

Isn’t it a great feeling when a casual acquaintance from the past remembers your name, as well as random facts that you shared months or years ago?  You can’t help but feel special and humbled.  Someone took an interest in what you shared, and cared enough to remember it.

My wife and I have gone to 11 weddings in the past two years, including our son’s wedding this past May.  Inevitably, you’ll run into an acquaintance from the distant past, but simply cannot put the name to the face.  How often have you said to your spouse, “I know that guy…how do I know him?  What the hell is his name again?  Shit, he’s walking over here.  Hurry up, help me!”  You desperately want to make a good impression, or simply avoid the embarrassment of not remembering their name.

It’s become increasingly difficult to remember names and I don’t have the recall I once did.  However, if I do happen to meet someone a second time, I’ll reintroduce myself, shake their hand firmly and say their name 3 times in my head.  For some reason I cannot explain, I won’t forget them after that second meeting.

To help mitigate the risks of embarrassment, I also keep a record of personal facts about people I meet in their contact file.  Any small anecdote, story or occurrence in their lives provides me with a common point of reference stemming from an earlier meeting.

• Spouse’s name
• Children and their names and interests (college, sports, scholarship hopes…)
• Team affiliation (professional and college)
• Hobbies and interests (cooking, art, cycling…)

Any number of unique, personal tidbits can help you re-break the ice, or demonstrate your interest in their life.  This “name-fact” association will also help you remember them in the future.

There are plenty of tricks for remembering names, but the point I want to emphasize is this skill affords you the opportunity to make a personal connection and speaks volumes to the person in that you took the time to remember them.  While the individual may never be able to help you with your career advancement, closing a deal or do anything for you, making the effort to know their name and something about them is endearing and makes YOU memorable.

Finally, I believe you can tell a lot about someone’s character by the way they treat people who can’t do anything for them.  For example, waiters, bell hops, sky caps, garbage men, a grocery clerk, etc.  True, all of these people are paid to do a job and they should take pride in it, but I always make it a point to address them with their name, say thank you and please, be appreciative for their effort, tip when appropriate and smile. For God’s sake, make eye contact.  Nothing is more welcoming than sincere eye contact and a smile.  I am always disappointed and saddened about how abusive and rude some people can be to people in the service profession, but my water glass is always full, my luggage arrives to my hotel room quickly and the eggs in my grocery bag are never broken.